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This section is for parents and I will try and bring you to a greater understanding of your child.

You may well have discovered something or found her or him dressed in the clothing of the opposite sex. Or, well you fill in the blank. What ever it was it was probably a shock. BUT you are truly interested in you child's welfare or you would not be reading this!

This is a quote I have taken to heart and I feel may be of help.

"I have found it of enormous value when I can permit myself to understand another person. The way in which I have worded this statement may seem strange to you. Is it necessary to permit oneself to understand another? I think that it is. Our first reaction to most of the statements which we hear from other people is an immediate evaluation, or judgment, rather than an understanding of it. When someone expresses some feeling or attitude or belief, our tendency is, almost immediately, to feel “That’s right”; or “That’s stupid”; “That’s ab­normal”; “That’s unreasonable”; “That’s incorrect”; “That’s not nice.” Very rarely do we permit ourselves to understand precisely what the meaning of his statement is to him. I believe this is because understanding is risky. If I let myself really understand another person, I might be changed by that understanding. And we all fear change. So as I say, it is not an easy thing to permit oneself to understand an individual, to enter thoroughly and completely and empathically into their frame of reference. It is also a rare thing." Carl Rogers 1961 On Becoming a Person.

Gender identity in children can be fluid and can  be affected  by external factors, grief, loss, difficulties in school/life. Having said that many of us that are transgender knew at a very early age that there was something. I knew at age five or six, although I did not have a word or an understanding of it till much later. I was always more comfortable in the, connected more cooperative world of the girls.

Causes are covered in the Why. This is a morally neutral and can be a blessing or a cures depending largely on you the parents. This is a cultural problem in that our society is dichotomous in sex and gender (gender is between the ears and sex is between the legs). Male Or Female and gender and sex had better match. and for roughly tem percent it does not entirely. Some Girls may not even realize they are transgendered as it is perfectly ok for a girl to dress in the attire of the opposite sex.

For some fairly detailed information  see Through The Looking Glass.

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Last modified: 02/09/09